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Walsh says the evaluation process is really no different than spotting someone attractive in a bar, at the supermarket, or sipping espresso at a coffee shop, and deciding to walk up to them.
Here’s the thing: “It’s very difficult to judge personal chemistry after matching but before meeting in real life,” Walsh says.
“Keeping a large number of conversations going is time-consuming and results in a lot of ‘dud’ matches.”When I first started online dating, I was so pumped at the how simple it was to create an insta-pool of options.
My initial thoughts: “Should have done this months ago!
The next day, that same co-worker brings you dozens of menus from every restaurant in your city and asks you to pick one. “Some people get overwhelmed by the amount of choice and approach online dating as a job, trying to get through as many profiles, or setting up as many dates, as possible,” she explains. If you go out on a string of bad dates, forgoing plans with friends and family, you start to feel disheartened and even annoyed by the process and time wasted.” (Cohen is clearly in my brain.)A 2009 study conducted by social psychologists from Cheng Shiu University in Taiwan showed that when we have a large array of options, we may have trouble ignoring irrelevant information.
App and online dating is literally a mile-long buffet, with something to satisfy any craving.
Even someone who is really, really good at meeting potential matches in person (which is, uh, not me) would only be able to meet a few people a day, max, says Marisa T.
And then there were the three weeks I spent talking online to the management consultant, resulting in an in-person date over a glass of wine. In hindsight, all of the pre-date, getting-to-know-you online chatting felt laborious — it could have all been condensed to 15 minutes or less in real-life talk.
And come to think of it, I probably wouldn’t have agreed to a date with either of those guys anyway if my first interaction with them was in person.