Help with dating single dad
If he’s your entire world, then all you’ll be able to see when he spends time with his kids is time that you don’t get to be with him.Keep your life full of things that are only yours, that have nothing to do with who you are as a girlfriend.I get lost in my own plans to ensure that I get whatever it is I think I need and become convinced that there must be some “answer” that I just haven’t found yet. There’s no plan, no specific actions that I can take that will ensure the success of this relationship (or, incidentally, cause its demise).Either his kids will come around or they won’t, and either my boyfriend and I will be able to move through all of it together or we won’t.His feelings were strong, he told me later, but he’d wanted to be sure. He didn’t lavish attention upon me like other boyfriends had, and this took some getting used to.He didn’t care if I wore make-up, or if I dressed up or wore lingerie.I remember telling my mother about the party; when she asked me if he could be the one. I invited him to join my family reunion in Hawaii at Thanksgiving. Everyone in the family loved him, and so did I, by then, but something told me I should hold off telling him so until he told me, first.He wasn’t the kind of man to rush into wild romantic gestures and proclamations.
This process is going to take exactly as much time as it will take, and not a moment less. You love this person, and you want to be a part of the good things in his life, and sometimes you feel crappy when you’re not.
See your friends, take yourself to a movie, catch up on some work, or just be by yourself and breathe.
It can be a beautiful thing if you let it, but if you don’t, he’ll feel the pressure of being the only thing in your life, even if it goes unsaid. You have something real and maybe even rare with him, and the only thing either one of you wants to do is plan a life together. No one is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to be in this relationship.
Yeah, I know, the children of the man I love don’t want me around, which makes said man feel guilty and stretched in too many directions, in turn causing fear and insecurity for us both.
Tell me one more time that it’s not personal, I dare you. His kids dislike you only as a concept, not as a person—they’re looking for that same safety and stability we all are, and you just happen to be the embodiment of all that threatens that.